Thanks for joining me on this flight!
“Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction…” — Tyler Durden
This is a bit embarrassing, but I’ve been an Eve Online player for years, (over five to be exact), but really haven’t been able to enjoy it at a level I’ve read, heard, and watched others. I have spent countless hours keeping up with the Eve culture, but never really felt a part of it. Much of that stems from the fact that I have a full time job, (that often has hours of two full time jobs), and I have a family. Both demand much of my attention, rightly so! However, every chance I get, (barring some extended breaks here and there), I log on, and dive into the black of New Eden.
My interest has been scattered. I often feel like I have an two inch deep, five mile wide understanding of this game. As a result, my main’s skills are all over the place. I have always identified the character as an industrialist, but I feel like the character should be super space rich by now. It is not. My play habits can only be described as the dog chasing squirrels in the park, running after one only to be distracted by another zipping by. I believe my greatest obstacle is, (and I can’t believe it’s taken me five years to realize this), I am extremely risk averse. I don’t use the word “extremely” lightly. It has been 3 years and seven months since I’ve lost a ship to a hostile. I have a difficult time risking ISK in an investment to make more. I simply hate to lose, and I believe that is holding me back in the game.
Despite my fear of losing, I have always wanted to get into the PvP aspect of this game. This would explain why my main has so many combat oriented skills leveled up, despite being an industrialist and never really using them. To get over my risk averse nature, I have decided to follow the advice I have read in articles several times over the years – to buy a number of ships, and just go out with the plan to blow up. One writer even advised to buy twenty ships, fit them out, undock, and self destruct. Although I can see how this may help, it doesn’t seem fun. I still want the fun.
This is where I will begin. On May 30, 2017, I started a new account. The “just get out there and blow up” advice was rolling around in my head when I created Quin Fidel for faction warfare.
At the time I planned to undock, plex, fight, and blow up. With each explosion, head back to base to hop into a new ship, and repeat the adventure. However, reality hit when I found that I just went for the easy LP, and ran when I saw trouble. Eventually, I took a break from the game, only to return to the industry ways of my main.
I love this game. It is my hope to get more involved. I want to improve as a player, and pay forward the advice and entertainment many players have offered me over the years through YouTube, podcasts, blogs, articles, and even local chatter. It is my hope that my commitment to improve at PvP and overcome my risk averse nature will connect me more to our Eve community.
As I journal my experience through this blog, we’ll work out more details of this personal quest. Most immediately this is the deal:
- I have 100 Tristans ready for flight.
- I will fly to plex, roam, or mission, but will not run from a fight when challenged. Even if I know I am over powered.
This is the medicine I will take to cure my ill.
Starting record: 100 ships in hangar; 0 kills.